IN A FEW WORDS: I discuss how my father’s violent behaviour became a fuel for me to do well in life.
I was 12. And I will remember that day for the rest of life. Only now it doesn’t hold such emotional weight – I am in the process of forgiving. He came and said sorry the next day. He did it again a few weeks later. It took me many years to forgive.
WHAT DID I LEARN?
Now, no child ever wants to be or should be beaten up. But what I learnt from that experience was that I had to take charge of my life. I stopped expecting someone to come and sort it out for me. Yes, I was hurt and disappointed, yes, I wish it hadn’t happened, and yes, it scarred me for many years to come. But I now know that if you don’t learn and use your suffering, you have suffered for nothing.
HOW DID I TRANSFORM IT? By the age of 15, I was making money from my writing and meeting people, who later funded my higher education in Britain (my parents weren’t in favour of my decision at the time).
The feeling of abandonment fuelled my desire to do well in life and achieve something rather than be reduced to a small, weak and defenceless child.
It also continues to be my source of resilience; now, having forgiven, I know that since I managed to make it through that teenage nightmare, I can cope with pretty much any challenge today.
Of course, I do not glamorise what happened to me, but I am simply refusing to see myself as a victim of my past. I transform the painful memories into positive energy.
You can do this too by downloading my Turn Setbacks Into Success Worksheet here and working through six powerful questions.